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Topic Today
How to break up?

当男女双方中有一方体会到两人已经不适合在一起,而另一方却还茫然无知或执迷不悟时,要如何去暗示对方呢?专家说:“追求是一种技术、分手是一种艺术”,是不是有道理呢?当两个人渐行渐远时,要如何做到好聚好散呢,提供大家一些绝招,只要混合使用,分手也可以很简单。

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方法一、冷漠无情,造成隔阂对方与你交谈时,尽量爱理不理的;当他高谈阔论时,不妨趁机冷嘲热讽一番;当他约你时,不妨浇他一点冷水。比方说,他提议去看电影,你就说,最近电影都太超难看的,找不到一部可以看的;他请你吃海鲜,你就答,最近夏天,吃海鲜容易食物中毒,要吃你自己去吃。总之,就是尽量摆出一付爱理不理的态度,冷言冷语,冷眼对待。哇!包准不出3天,他就可以立刻感受到两人之间这种诡异的气氛。

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方法二、投其所恶,制造争吵机会投其所恶,他越不喜欢的事你越要做,即使自毁形象也没关系。比方说他不喜欢你挖鼻孔,你就越挖,挖到他受不了为止,你就借题发挥,趁机会大吵一架。

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方法三、制造各种误会恋人之间长久相处,难免偶尔出现一些小小的误会,经过沟通之后,如能解释,彼此将会更了解对方,感情就更?浓烈;但相反地,两人之间如果常发生小误会,却置之不理,任其扩大成心结时,感情也就很难再挽回了。
    
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方法四、制造距离,最为上策告诉他,你希望改善彼此之间的关系,所以想分开一段时间,彼此冷静一下,好好地思考两人之间的问题……等等。很少恋人能耐得住寂寞,更何况长期无法见面,再爱你的男人也会变心,有时当个被甩的人比当甩人的好些。

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方法五、攻其父母,尤为下策有时什么方法都试了,也不见成效,此时用这招蛮有用的,为人子女,通常都不希望自己的父母被人说长道短的,你就利用人的此一弱点,有机会就攻击批评一下它的父母,不见得要真的讨厌他的父母,毕竟这只是一种手段。

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方法六、制造第三者的尴尬有些尴尬的情况,其实是很好的结束恋情的方法。制造一个第三者,在无意之间把这个信息泄露出来,比方说,在床上亲热时,毫不经意地轻呼第三者名字;或是跟他的死党泄密,藉由别人的口传达,也不失为一种方法。

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分手的故事林林总总,当爱情日益褪色时,也有女孩是以快刀斩乱麻的态度来结束感情的,坦白地告诉对方,自己不再爱他了;或当?给他难堪,让他下不了台;这些方式或许同样都可以达到分手的目的,但想想双方毕竟曾经相恋,爱他时会替他着想,不爱他时,是不是也能设身处地帮对方想一想。多考虑一下对方的感受,如此是现代女性处理自己感情时该有的态度。下面,提供一些分手对白,虽然很经典,但是衷心祝愿大家永远没有用它们的机会。

最古老的分手对白
我不想再影响你的前途,你可以找到比我更好的人……我不想再欺骗你和自己,希望你原谅我吧!我会永远祝福你的。
评语:四平八稳,但是作用不会太好,就像是青霉素,很多都市男女都对此有了抗药 性。通常还会纠缠一段时间。

最以攻为守的分手对白
你对我太好了,但要我付出跟你同样多去爱你,我又做不到。你这样付出只令我有太大太大的压力,我好辛苦,放过我吧!
评语:这通常是实话,效果也算不错。虽然没有说你的付出对于我来说是负担。

最适合痴狂少年的分手对白
请你回答我以下的问题:你见到我的时候是不是有点开心和兴奋?你见到我的时候是不是好想接近我?你是不是好想时时刻刻都见到我?你是不是有好多东西想同我讲,但是见到我的时候又不知道说什么才好?我见到四大天王的心情就和你的一样,只是痴慕,不是爱,你想想四大天王又怎么可能和我在一起?正如我不能和你在一起一样!
评语:富批判现实主义色彩,也有教育意义。

最委婉动人的分手对白
我家里的狗不太喜欢你,你家里的猫不太喜欢我,所以不要再说什么,以后你慢慢就会明白的。
评语:非常世俗非常有效。

最粗糙生硬的分手对白
和你分手!不需要什么理由和借口,只是已经对你没有感觉了!
评语:这样的人,还有什么好理论的。

最藕断丝连的分手对白
你实在太爱我了!我觉得很对你不起,真的对不起……其实我也很希望我们的爱是有将来的……可是……路途太崎岖,太难走……你对我比对你自己还好……我真的无以为报……我真的对不起你……没有未来的爱情是痛苦的……我现在真的很痛苦……我们的爱真的是没有结局的吗?我很怕……为什么你要对我这么好?我真的很想跟你结婚……可以吗?我们本应是很有将来的,以前的我们不是很开心的吗?为什么会这样?但我们的距离越来越远,就只怪我们有缘无分吧!
评语:真的很感人,说到这里,为什么还要分手?好好在一起过吧。

最后,附上chandler的分手对白:

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个人感觉,chandler已经很有勇气了,可能是因为,提出分手确实需要一定的勇气,但chandler要和   Janice  一起过下去所需的勇气其实更大。

本期相关影片推荐:
Breakin’ all the rules
中文译名:分手专家
一句话点评:恋爱男女分手技巧的搞笑巅峰之作。
搞笑程度:胜过  Friends
看点:
黑人全明星上阵——杰米•福克斯是一位在电视、电影、主持、模特各方面都出色的全能选手,1999年奥利佛•斯通导演的励志影片《挑战星期天》(Any Given Sunday)让我们第一次全面的认识这位多面手。他同时还在MTV CHANNER主持一档脱口秀节目(Jamie Foxx SHOW)。他今年将出现在一部大制作影片中,那就是汤姆克鲁斯的新片《借刀杀人》(Collateral),杰米•福克斯将会再次展示他出色的演技。本片的黑人女星是加布里艾尔•尤尼恩,她曾在刚刚结束的《六人行》里出演罗斯的大学教授女友,就是前男友不是著名科学家就是诺贝尔奖得主的那位。她还在李连杰和DMX的动作片和去年的卖座片《绝地战警2》里面出演。这次她在本片中将和杰米•福克斯展开爱情斗秀,比拼甩人绝技。本片中还有一位演技派明星莫里斯•切斯纳特,他一直都是黑人生活片的顶尖演员,他主演的《The Best Man》,《Two Can Play That Game》,《The Brothers》都是黑人影坛的点金之作。
评论:
本片导演丹尼尔•塔力兹显示了他驾驭演员的出色能力,而且设置了许多出人意料的原创笑料。他得到了他想要的反浪漫效果。不象大多数浪漫喜剧那样的程式化的老套故事,通过每个人物的个性设定发展的小包袱来的自然和不做作。丹尼尔•塔力兹的故事显然相当有趣,是一个寻找方法到方法限制的话题。不象大多数浪漫喜剧那样的程式化的老套故事,这部片让我们重新对此类影片有了兴趣。

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画外音:
Multiple Orgasms

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目前的主流学说认为,男子在射精后,附性腺的液体通通排空,这通常需要一些时间使之得到补充和再分泌,对年轻人来讲它大约只要几小时,对中老年来讲它可能需要十几小时至几天时间。只有附性腺的分泌达到一定程度后才会产生所谓的胀满的感觉,才能激发和诱起男性的性紧张,然后通过不同方式使分泌物得到排泄和使性紧张得到缓解。既然女性不射精,也就没有这种胀满排泄欲,在性高潮之后她们也就不需要得到分泌物的补充,因此也就不存在不应期。所以女性往往能体验到    multiple orgasms.

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音外画:
She is too much for me in bed, sexually.
He is unbelievable in bed.

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Odds & Ends
Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
maneuver    源自法语,本意是“体力劳动”,在英语中作名词时是“策略、巧计、花招”的意思,在这里表示一种很巧妙的动作或手法。
http://www.biku.com/opus/player.swf?VideoID=17334&embed=true&autoStart=false

Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
pee   比较诙谐文雅的说法,  I need to answer a call from nature.

Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
blow one’s mind    “对某件事情感到既惊奇又兴奋”

Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.
Mean,   “很不好、卑鄙的”

No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
.“get up the courage to do sth”,   鼓足勇气做某事

but I think she'd    联合起来(结成一伙),共同攻击。

hunger strike

Why so scrunchy?
Scrunchy   弯曲的,怪怪的。

Mercedes convertible

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That guy, he burns me up.

You're-not-up-to-this

Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".

being dumped by you obviously agrees with her

I don't wanna seem too eager

That seems pretty cool.

Mississippi
One Mississippi,,two Mississippi,three Mississippi
    乔伊在咖啡馆巧遇前女友安杰拉,安杰拉似乎对他不再有感觉。乔伊决定重新去认识她,但为了不显得焦急,就数了三下:   One Mississippi,two Mississippi,three Mississippi,   然后再走上前去。这其实是橄榄球运动员开球前的数数方法,有时要数到   Five Mississippi,   所以乔伊说这个办法很酷。

That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.

big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.

you wanna hear a freaky coincidence?

Was that not clear?

Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?
Sevenish   七点左右

Who the hell's Bob?

Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...

Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
belch the alphabet.
“belch the alphabet”belch    本意是打嗝、喷射,这里表示“吐出”,所谓打嗝会嗝出字母,就是指有些无聊的人,会故意打一个长长的嗝,然后会利用打嗝发出字母的音,是一种很粗俗又没教养的行为。

Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile.

What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.

hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?

It's laundry. The thinking through is pretty minimal.

Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwear—you want it to be dirty?

fabric softener

There you go   一般就是表示赞同、赞赏的意思。

Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly... horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.

I had the most supremely awful day.

We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of this afternoon, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking,
proofs照片样片
blew off the rest of this afternoon,    中英文字幕都存在严重错误!
Blow off 在这里应该是Ignore, abandon, refuse to take part  的意思。就是遇到之前的那些不愉快后,下午去消遣,去购物了。
中英文字幕都是汉化组后来加上去的,错误不少,但是已经很不错了,不可以责备求全。

What... did you get me there?

you can mix and match

I'm still working on mine.

that hug looked pretty brutal.

You weren't there

I was kinda using that machine.

Was your basket on top?

laundry spaz
spaz,   被人蔑视的)笨家伙

Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.

basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
Under panty,   底裤

that would be a judgment call.

It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
emotional age   心理年龄
“真是太棒了,他既聪明又风趣,并且心智还成熟得,超过那些……心智大约像8岁的小男生的那些男人”。

My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.

Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.

I don't think we should go out anymore.

Next on Ross.

marshmallow peep
marshmallow   就是棉花糖啊,流氓兔好像就是这个词。
marshmallow peep  是一个品牌,是人们在复活节,情人节,万圣节,圣诞节等节日上吃的点心,是棉花糖之类的,做成小鸡、小兔或南瓜等各种形状象征节日。

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Underdog

they couldn't get his head to inflate

his head is like flopping down Broadway

I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?

Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.

Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.

Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting

Oh my god, what were you thinking?

All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.

if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.

Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.

I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.

Jammy

Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.

quit making up rules!

All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!

We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.

he needed some time to grieve.

That oughta do it.



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